Attention White People

There are worse things that can happen than someone telling you that you did something racist. For one, someone could be harmed by your act of unintentional racism. You being accused of racism is not the crime that has occurred here. I know it is embarrassing. You are horrified and want to shut this discussion down, but if I may, this is where the racism starts to multiply. If you back off and say, with sincerity, I am sorry, I never thought of it that way, you have shown consideration for the experience of a human being who has experience different from your own. This is laudable. Get yourself a cookie! Buy one for your friend, too, to show no hard feelings. When you start to backtrack and explain that you were not racist and defend yourself and bring up all your black friends and coworkers, this is bad. You do not want to be the story this person will tell all their friends and they will be like, Ugh, right, I know. White people. You can handle this opportunity for growth and change. If you can follow up your apology (and, knock off any of that "I'm sorry if you were offended bullshit") with listening to your friend's thoughts on why what you said/did/implied were unacceptable, get two cookies. Or just do better next time. The More You Know.